What we do with our feelings matters

Research has shown that the average person can name about 8 feelings, yet we experience a huge array of feelings.  Being able to articulate our feelings is very important because once we can name a feeling then we can move through it by identifying our positive needs. 

I feel_________

About __________

I need (Positive)___________

Examples:

I feel guilty about missing dinner tonight, I need to make more room to spend quality time with the ones I love.

I feel peaceful when I talk to my friend on the phone, I need to get together with them soon.

Feelings are meant to be neutral, whereas a lot of us believe that feelings are positive or negative. However, it really depends on what we do with our feelings.  If we are angry and yell at the ones we love they will associate anger with things to avoid; however, if anger is used in a way that brings about resolution then it can be seen as being constructive. 

Resources:

Feeling wheels: you can buy all sorts of items with the feeling wheel printed directly on it. 

What Happened to You : Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing (2021) by Bruce Perry and Oprah

Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience (2021) by Brene Brown